


Never Have I Ever

by Hannurdock



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Bullying, Cruelty, Ed being protective, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:41:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25875298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hannurdock/pseuds/Hannurdock
Summary: The rogues play a drunken game after a day of victories over The Bat.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	1. Breaking the Bird

It had been a long day for the rogues of Gotham. After a tentative truce to take on The Bat had resulted in a successful heist, they were relaxing for the first time in hours.

The six of them were sitting in a loose circle on a pile of cushions devouring glass after glass of red wine. Penguin had opened up his basement collection of fine vintages and now all of them were drunk and rowdy, reminiscing about old times and victories.

Penguin was sprawled comfortably within a nest of cushions, just watching the other rogues having fun. He hadn't been drinking as much as the others for fear of a possible assassination, anything was possible with this lot, after all. Even with a truce.

No, not all the rogues were a threat. The only person he trusted in this gathering was sitting to his right side on a green bean bag, long form splayed out and slightly dozing, one eye cracked open a little watching the other rogues with wary appreciation. Everyone in this room was dangerous, but Oswald trusted Ed. He was the only villain here that Penguin could count on.

Ivy, Barbara, Joker and Harley made up the rest of the group. They were unaccustomed to such fine wine (Barbara usually went for spirits) and were making the most of their host's supply. Oswald endured their drunkenness with a slight smile.

"Let's play a game!" Joker crowed and Harley clapped her hands excitedly.

"Oh goody, Mr J! I love games!"

"Just what we need." Barbara's eyes flashed manically. "What do you have in mind?"

"Never have I ever." Joker supplied innocently. "Each of us asks the others a question. If that person has never done it, they must take a drink."

Ed shuffled into a sitting position, blinking away sleep from his eye and watching Joker curiously. "Can I riddle?"

"That's not the point of the game, Ed." Joker tsked.

Ed shrugged. "I like games. I'm in."

"Me too." Ivy giggled drunkenly.

"What about our dear host here?" Joker asked, batting his eyes at Oswald in a way that made Ed instantly wary. His eyes narrowed as Oswald sighed and shrugged.

"Perfect. I'll start." Joker crowed, addressing the audience before him with a bow and a giggle. "Never have I ever... ooooo, let me see. Aha! Never have I ever... kissed anyone other than my own mother."

Silence descended in the room as all eyes turned to Oswald. The wine glass shook in his hand as his face reddened with humiliation and anguish. 

"Be honest, Oswald." Joker laughed spitefully as the glass in Oswald's hand shattered from the force of being held too tightly and the bird got painfully to his feet. Blood dripped from his palm as he took a few unsteady steps.

Taking a couple of deep breaths, Penguin relaxed a little and released his anger in a desperate whine. Then he levelled his voice and addressed the room as if he had not been deeply affected. "Goodnight gentlemen. Ladies. I think it is time for me to retire."

With whatever was left of his dignity, Oswald retreated from the room at once, trying to hold his head up high.

As soon as he had left the room, the rogue's burst into cruel laughter. 

All but Ed.

Riddler remained quiet, watching Joker intently with narrowed eyes. 

"He's never kissed anyone." Harley snorted.

"Who'd want to, anyway?" Barbara howled with laughter. "I reckon even his own mother didn't want to kiss that thing."

"I'd rather kiss a frog." Ivy rolled her eyes. "Better looking and smells nicer."

Joker rolled around, pressing his arms around his stomach, tears dripping from his eyes. "Oh. My. GOD. Stop it! I'm dying here!"

"He kept himself pure in case Ed would ever want him." Barbara snorted. "What a sorry thing our Oswald is."

Riddler suddenly rose to his feet and glared at the laughing rogues before him, before his face went blank and friendly. "Would you like another bottle of wine? I'm sure Oswald won't mind. We're all friends here."

"Oh yes!" Barbara trilled excitedly. "He may be a loveless freak but at least he has good wine."

Ed smiled and left the room, bringing back another bottle from the basement. "Let it breathe for a while."

"Screw that!" Joker laughed, grabbing the bottle from Ed's hand violently, then taking a large swig. Passing the bottle around, Ed declined politely, watching as the others finished the whole bottle in less than two minutes.

A large grin spread across Ed's face and his laughter filled the room as the rogues began to choke, foaming white bubbles collecting around their mouths.


	2. Healing A Broken Bird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed makes things right.

Oswald was shaking. He had wrapped up his injured palm but the pain wasn't even registering in his haze of discontent.

He just couldn't stop silently sobbing and he flinched when he heard a gentle knock on his bedroom door.

Freezing in place, Penguin imagined the rogues all piling in to poke fun at him. 

"Oswald?" Ed's voice and Penguin felt the tears forming at the corners of his eyes at the familiar and welcome sound. "Oswald. May I come in?"

Penguin kept quiet. He didn't want Ed to see him in such a state but then the door swung open and Riddler walked into the room briskly, without stopping once until he was in front of Oswald, perched on the bed with red eyes and trying so hard not to cry.

He got down on his knees and pulled Oswald into a hug and Penguin cracked, sobbing violently into the other man's shoulder.

"I had no idea." Riddler said mournfully. "I'm so sorry I let them get to you, Oswald."

"Not your fault, Ed." Oswald sobbed, clinging to the other man desperately. "They caught me out, too."

"Is it true?" Ed asked earnestly.

"Is what true?" Penguin tried to focus on Ed's face but his eyes were blurry from all the tears.

"What am I saying; of course it's true. I could see how they hurt you the moment Joker started playing his game. I should have stopped him.' Riddler grasped hold of Oswald's shoulders, looking at him deeply in the eyes.

"That wasn't your fault, Ed." Oswald said softly. Fighting back tears.

But it is my fault that you were vulnerable to him." Riddler could feel tears pricking at his eyes. "It's me you held out for."

"It doesn't matter." Penguin was starting to get himself back under control. It helped seeing Ed's sadness, boosting his resolve to make his best friend feel better. Ed didn't deserve to be sad or think that it was his fault Oswald had never been attracted to anyone else.

"Of course it matters, Oswald!" Ed said angrily. "Not even one kiss?"

"Joker is unerringly accurate as always." Oswald sniffed. "My mother is the only person I've ever been kissed by. And definitely not like that."

Riddler felt all the breath leaving his lungs. He had failed Oswald so completely, so spectacularly that he had absolutely no idea how to make things right again.

Then, it hit him.

A slow smile spread across his face prompting Oswald to furrow his brow.

"What is it, Ed? Why are you smiling?" 

"What belongs to two people, can be shared by a breath and be given to save a life?" Ed asked.

"Ed, what?" Oswald couldn't be more confused.

"This..." Riddler leaned forward and his lips ghosted Oswald's momentarily, before plunging in to claim the other man's mouth in a heated kiss. It was all-consuming as Oswald was pushed back against the bedspread, Ed nudging apart his legs with his tall frame and practically devouring Oswald whole as he ground his lower body against his friend's. 

Oswald let out a strangled cry as new tears sprung from his eyes. A passion he had never experienced consumed him as he opened his mouth to the only man he had ever loved and Edward plunged his tongue inside; claiming Penguin's tongue and teeth, rotating the muscle around the inside, committing to memory every inch of Oswald's mouth and tongue. 

As Oswald's desire overtook him and his own tongue fought to enter Riddler's mouth, Ed grazed his teeth over the muscle, scraping a trail along the needy flesh, swallowing Oswald into himself. Oswald cried out, shaking from the intense pleasure of being at one with Ed; of feeling his mouth devouring every breath, every moan.

Ed ground himself further into Oswald's now prominent erection, gasping as he kissed and suckled his way along Penguin's lips, his hands finding the hard organ pressed between them and gently massaging through the pyjama bottoms. Penguin was rock hard and Edward felt his own desire coursing through him as his own cock throbbed painfully. 

"Ed, wait!" Oswald pushed him off, panicking.

"What's wrong?" Ed asked, trying to keep the disappointment from his voice.

"You don't need to do this. The kiss was everything. I can die a happy man now." Oswald blinked back tears as Edward stared at him, eyes dilated with pure lust.

"Oh, Oswald." Ed murmured. "There is much more to come than just a kiss."

"I don't want you to feel sorry for me, Ed." Oswald whispered, his heart breaking.

"Silly bird." Ed chuckled fondly, looking deeply into Oswald's eyes. "I'm in love with you. I killed them all for upsetting you and I'd do it again. For you."

"Wait, what?" Oswald pushed Ed away fully. "Ed, what did you do?"

"I poisoned their wine." Ed laughed manically. "I couldn't let them get away with that, Oswald."

Penguin rubbed his eyes tiredly. "How are we going to deal with this, Ed? Four murders in one night!"

"You...." Ed got to his feet and ushered the Penguin under the bed covers, tucking them up to his neck comfortingly. "...are going to get some sleep and tomorrow we are going to have our first date. I'll take care of the bodies."

"What then?" Penguin asked, his eyes hopeful.

"I think you can guess what happens next." Ed grinned. He drew a heart in the air with his two forefingers and winked before leaving the room to his body disposal task.

Oswald lay in bed. He couldn't sleep after that kiss. His mind was whirring with possibilities and how on earth they were going to explain the missing rogues. 

He felt Edward slip into bed behind him a few hours later, wrapping his arms tightly around Oswald's waist. After a few moments, Oswald heard the symphony of tiny snores and he realised that Ed was already asleep.

Feeling safer than he had in years, Oswald finally relaxed into sleep, lulled by Ed's gentle snoring and the feel of his breath on the back of his neck.


End file.
